ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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