If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
the liver wants what the liver wants
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
