i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
