I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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