Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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