I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
