I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
