we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
