u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
