Did you just see the Batmobile???
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
