How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
