and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Naked Twister starts at high noon
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
