Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
