So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
