Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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