My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Boobs are out for the taking
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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