i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
