Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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