Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
