I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
