I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
