the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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