her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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