so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
