I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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