i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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