weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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