i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
