i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
