I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this boner is exhausting
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
