Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
