nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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