I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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