I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
