Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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