watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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