if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
