spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
