So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
