we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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