Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
