im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
