Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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