Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
