FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
