you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
