dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
