The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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