I'm eating all of the evidence.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
