Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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