Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
