and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
