my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
