Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
