Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
